Tuesday, May 17, 2016

The Decisive Parent

One of the traits that I look for when I meet a parent is decisiveness. Parents undervalue the long term effects of decisiveness in parenting because some of them feel that they have all the time in the world to make the best decisions for their child.

I remember watching this unfold when I was younger. My sister was having some problems emotionally and it was starting to affect other areas in her life. Within one day - my sage of a mother spent minutes on the phone looking for resources both public and private to help my sister. It was imperative that my mom acted swiftly to remedy the problem because she knew as a mother - this problematic area was something that she was unqualified to take care of and was unfamiliar territory. She did not want to take the chance to "fix a problem" that was not in her scope to fix as a mother. Mom sacrificed time, money - and more importantly, her pride by letting someone else resolve the situation. The result of my mom's quick decision had ultimately helped my sister, and saved our family life.

As a community member, I hear the stories of many parents that spend countless hours trying to "help" their children. One of the stories that I tell them is that even parents who are educational or allied health professionals have a difficult time working with their children because it is a completely different relationship that you have with your children when you fill in the shoes of what a professional normally does. I have worked with the students of many educators and witnessed that students crave boundaries - but an overabundance of boundaries from a parent can negatively impact your family dynamics as well.

When your child has a problem, whatever it may be, it is very important to be a decisive parent. Not only does it make your child feel that what they are going through matters, but it also assures you that your time and efforts have not been futile. Whether it be choosing a new school, selecting new extracurricular activities or hiring an educational professional, look for the best and nothing less.

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