Which Type of Parent Are You?

I come from a long line of extremely pragmatic, and unbelievably strong women in my life. There was no shortage of problems to solve for my mother and my grandmothers (my mom having six children, with my paternal and maternal grandmothers having almost a dozen each) on a daily basis and what I learned and observed from them is that when it comes to children, there is a time and a place for thinking about what decision to make, and then acting upon it.

Recently, I've come to realize that many parents call me in hopes that there is one pill, one book, one methodology to solve all of their child's problems. I have had several mothers feel the pressure by their own peer groups to get their children tested so that they could have the ultimate solution to their child's problems in the palm of their hands. Each time I talk to these mothers I think to myself, "why are they taking such drastic measures for someone who is only six years old?"

I'm not one to tell anyone what to do - it's not in my nature to advocate for one industry or another. Growing up in a huge family, having a disadvantage would become your advantage in life. Given the fact that my older brother did not like school as much as I did, he motivated me to study harder than I already did and I served as his "homework helper" even though I was five years away from attending college.

I wish someone could explain to me what the rush is to medicate children. I've grown very fond of the excitable nature of children and seeing their curiosity and energy ebb and flow with activities that appeal to them and those that they show little interest over. But to suppress their natural state by introducing chemicals into their system, involving them in a regiment of exercises that may be used for institutionalized individuals,  or a strict regiment of wheatgrass and [insert the "hip" nutritional yeast product of the month here] worries me.

Where is the common sense parent? Where is the parent that looks inward before looking outward for answers? Where is that confident parent that knows no matter what life throws at their little child, they will know - within three steps, what to do and how to solve the problem that their child has.

When I say that each child is unique, I really mean it. Not everyone needs to follow in your neighbor's footsteps in order to get the same results. Unless you would like your child to be a carbon copy of your neighbor's child, think to yourself, "what would be the best thing that we can do for our child?" I despise people that believe that their is only one solution and one person and one answer to a child not knowing how to behave, read, pay attention, or communicate. Sometimes your situation might be simple - sometimes it might be complex; whatever it is you should not be in fear to make decisions for your family. It's that pride and confidence that makes you - the parent that you are meant to be.

After The Psychological Report: What Do I Do Next?

I had to laugh when one of my clients fell for the oldest trick in the book: a list of recommendations found at the end of her child's Psychological Evaluation that read more like a list of Oprah's Favorite Things than evidence based, research backed methodologies that would help move her child from a life of wasted time in the classroom..

One of the most important qualities that I find to be indicative of a person's character is their integrity. Now that I have grown older (and much wiser than I would like to admit), I must say that integrity is compromised all in the name of cronyism when it comes to education. Psychologists recommend someone they play golf with or the neighborhood lady who tutors children on the side. I've seen some go so far as to recommend a teacher without any credentials who works for a school that one parent would pay hand over fist for her child to attend. Or take horseback lessons for an issue that the child doesn't even have.

Are you kidding me? Is it ethical? Not really. Is it what people are doing? Yes - but I do not know why (nor could understand the reasoning behind this behavior).

I come from a place where people do business with people and have learned that competition breeds excellence. Sad to say, this is not the case in some areas of town. I've watched people spend thousands - I mean thousands of dollars to watch their child take 2 years to learn how to read a book that takes only three months for a child to read under my guidance. Rather than taking the time to find out if a child will succeed with the newest supposed "neurological advances", parents have signed children up for the strangest things to make their problems go away.

I don't believe that any problem can go away overnight - but I do believe that sometimes, it takes more than a few hundred dollars worth of franchise fees to help someone help themselves. It takes courage, strength, intellectual fortitude, and lastly - insight to be successful in changing anything.

There are some processes that need to change as far as how people treat those who have children who need our help. We should not admonish them because they do not know what we know - we should be truthful and help them with what we know works best.

If you have questions about your child's most recent psychological report, feel free to contact Christine at Learning Ridge by calling 404-964-8533.